Lifestyle Makeover

OK, the wedding stuff is now out of control.

We got a response to all of our questions from Bride Brain and it was mighty long.

First, she told us she is going to get us a bigger size than what is measured so that we can just get it altered, to which Legal Eagle said:

Why not just buy us what size we measured and then we don’t have to pay for alterations?

LE and me: 1     BB: 0

The dresses, we were informed after we made sure to ask, will cost about $160. Ouch. And we were naive enough to think she was treating since she is ordering and wouldn’t let us get them out here. Oh, and since I’m tall, I get to pay extra for extra length.

LE and me: 1     BB: 1

And we were informed that the shoes will be 1 or 2 inches, no more. I have two pairs of small heeled shoes and only because they are awesome. And I know they are going to be those cliched bridal party shoes. If this is the case, can’t we just wear flip-flops?

LE and me:1     BB:2

Now, the rehearsal is on a Friday, wedding on Saturday, brunch and gift opening on Sunday. We plan on having to fly back on Sunday (although we might stick around and nurse our hangovers, order room service and laugh about all the awkward moments from the previous night), but BB won’t know and we are NOT going to a gift opening.

LE and me: 2     BB:2

She caught on to the boyfriend thing LE mentioned and has now asked about them. As Gary from WILAY would say, “Oh my damn.” But LE is very focused and going to take this on full steam ahead, so looks like I am on board.

This is a toss up as it could go well and we could get boyfriends, or horribly and get lost in our lies.

LE and me: 2     BB:2

She told us we might want to look at staying at the hotel that her and her hubby-to-be will stay the night of the wedding…ew!

LE and me: 2     BB:2     my mind:forever tortured

^Bride Brain

So LE had a brilliant idea that tonight, after working out, we will eat, crack open a bottle of wine and reply with all the news about our boyfriends. Again, “Oh my damn.”

Oh, but here is an awesome conversation LE and I had about our “boyfriends.”

LE: You’re gonna be like, “Oh, this is Juniper.”

Me: Juniper? Why would my fake boyfriend be named Juniper?

LE: You’ll be Molly and Juniper.

Me: (beginning to laugh).

LE: Mine will be like, “Babe I can’t find my name for seating.” And I’ll be like, “It’s under JoJo. You’re sitting next to Juniper.”

Me: JoJo? (more laughing)

LE: Yeah, JoJo and Juniper.

Me: They sound like a partnership of some sort.

LE: Hmm…let’s just hope they’re not that type of partnership.

Now I really can’t wait to meet JoJo and Juniper!

Legal Eagle and I got measured for Bride Brain’s wedding. It cost us $10 each for some lady to tell us we apparently aren’t the size we thought we were. Overall, awesome time…

But before we got measured, LE emailed BB saying we would and here is what she implied:

That we will and already do have boyfriends who we plan to bring to the wedding.

Currently, there aren’t even any options.

So now we have to find guys who will not only go to a wedding in Iowa, but will go along with whatever lies we will be telling BB about our dates if she ever asks about them. I’m going to need to find a very understanding guy. Very.

But while I was stressing over LE making all this up, she did redeem herself.

During the drive this morning, I was telling her how I am not going to tell BB what my “boyfriend” is like just to play it safe, she says:

Oh my God! This is totally something Holly would do!

And you know what, it is.

^ Holly is a totally good schemer. And this episode is not often shown, but quite good when Holly finds out about Henry’s ex. And of course Holly schemes to find and meet her.

In other sad weekend news, my old cat Collie passed away. (Old man winter). Same day as Paul Newman, both had amazing blue eyes.

^ Best cat ever.

Legal Eagle and I are going to get measured for our bridesmaid dresses for Bride Brain’s  big day. We are not pleased about this at all seeing as though she had originally told us we needed them by January and then a couple of weeks ago she asked if we could do this soon. Then, just this week, she asked us to have it done by October 3rd.

I am not done to my goal weight of: Rachel Zoe.

^Scary! Sorry!

Needless to say, wedding stuff is troublesome. There is way too much to do especially since we are out-of-state. Not to mention, expensive! But on the upside, I think we could have quite a good time being the rebels of the wedding.

Pretty sure all the other bridesmaids are married/engaged/soon to be engaged/or seriously dating. And I’m pretty sure they all LOVE weddings! (Other than LE obviously). So it might be kind of fun when they realize how not into all of this we are. Not that I plan on ruining her day or anything, but I don’t plan on “ooh”-ing or “aah”-ing either.

Plus, have I mentioned that we will have to ride on a a trolley. Now, I’m not sure how I feel about this, but would normally be like, “Awesome, trolley!” But I can’t imagine I will enjoy it much with the company that will be there.

LE and I plan to make the best of it. And hopefully with her help, I’ll have some fun. Well, all I know for sure is that we are strapping flasks to our legs. That is a necessity!

This can be a good thing if your neighbors are totally awesome or you want to date one or they’re rich.

My neighbors are not and I went a really long time not having to deal with any of them other than Nosy Neighbor.

However, the tides have changed now that I work from home mostly. The first situation began with Georgie. He is a little neighbor boy who looks like he is straight from the ’50s.

Me: So Georgie came by my window today while I was reading.

Legal Eagle: Is his name really Georgie?

Me: Oh no, that’s just what I call him because he looks old-fashion and it was the first old-fashion name I could think of. I don’t know his real name.

LE: OK.

Me: So Schatzie was in the window and Georgie came by and was like “Hi.” And then he just hung out trying to play with Schatzi through the window while I am lying on my bed reading.

LE: Weird.

And stuff like this has continued. He has come by my window many times after school and given me a hello, but just the other day he crossed the line. He tried to sell me school fundraiser items (like jewelry or chocolate as he put it). He thinks we are such good friends that I will buy that sucker crap! I didn’t buy because as he asked I was thinking about my credit card bill.

Well, needless to say this relationship needs to be adjusted.

However, he is not my only friendly neighbor.

There are these older women down a few apartments who occasionally sit outside and gossip. We’ll call them the Gossip Girls. One has often complimented me and LE, saying we always look so nice. Now, I would LOVE to be friends with them and put on my best smoker’s accent and have my coffee black and wear some house slippers while chatting with them in the middle of the day, but alas, they are not the friends I have.

One GG has a husband. He’s perfectly nice and all, but has become very chatty. We’ll call him GGH (Gossip Girl Hubby).

Yesterday as my window is wide open for the cats to enjoy, however my desk is in sight of my window:

GGH: Well, you’re on the computer about as much as we are.

Me: (wondering why there is a man at my window) Oh yeah, work of course (making it clear I don’t surf for porn).

GGH: I thought we were the only ones. We’ve got four computers and two printers and who knows what else.

Me: (really wondering why two people would need four computers) Oh, yeah, I know (staring at my one computer and zero printers).

And then today:

GGH: Hi neighbor.

Me: Hey. How are you?

GGH: Good. So you have high speed internet?

Me: Yeah (not having any idea if I have high speed, but assuming mine is at least medium to high speed).

GGH: Through Time Warner.

Me: Yeah! (realizing we do use Time Warner, but also realizing we might have DSL?)

GGH: Yeah, us too. We tried to get dial-up and DSL, but it was too slow.

Me: I know. (no I don’t).

GGH: Take it easy.

Me: You too.

Now, I can play this situation a number of ways. I can start closing/semi closing my blinds, thus depriving my cats of doing whatever it is they do at the window. Or I can totally take this on and even have like a persona for each neighbor that I snap into. This could be fun. And who knows, being chatty with GGH might lead me to hanging out with the GGs!

Well, for now, here’s to me and my neighbors!

^Awesome.

My middle sister asked me a couple of days ago what I blogged about (she is even more technologically reluctant than me at times, so I don’t hold it against her for not reading this everyday or for not emailing).

All I answered was, anything. You know, conversations that are funny and whatnot. And then after further discussion I realized that my blog did have a premise!

How could I have been so forgetful. This is all about What I Like About You-ifying my life!!!!

So I think it is high time for some updates.

Well, I’m still as adorable as ever. So that is going great!

As far as career and stuff, I want to believe it is going in a good direction. I’m busy and working a lot. And while much of it is still “pro-bono,” InStyle has picked up and I am getting a fair amount of work there.

Oh and with the addition of my super cute desk and chair, my room and stuff is getting a little better than it was. Still want to move to Long Beach though, but alas the money thing hasn’t quite taken off.

And then there are guys, or lack thereof. Unfortunately Legal Eagle and I have been consumed with a number of things and haven’t had much time to just go out for a simple night. But I’d rather do that in Long Beach too.

Hmm..ah yes, organization. I was going to try to get super organized. It is going in the right direction. But I do need to get my print-outs of clips organized. However, my files are going quite well.

One that I have completely passed over was wanting a “hang-out” place. This is rather difficult. Well, there isn’t much here and part of me would hate to find somewhere I absolutely loved only to move to Long Beach. So until the hopefully sooner rather than later move, Starbucks is good.

Zany situations is going awesome! It’s pretty standard that something odd happens around here every now and then.

^Like how complete is spelled incorrectly?

What I need is to be really computer-saavy and figure out how to make an awesome WILAY chart or graph and be able to track my progress. Although this may be taking things too far.